In orchestral musical terms, furioso (furiously)  is a step or two beyond con brio (with spirit, with brilliance). Having been contacted by my former string orchestra mate, I am thinking back to my viola playing days. There were several terms along with the musical notes on the sheet music pages. Furioso was a very rare instruction.

        My mother had a pretty good Mother's Day! I hope all you new mothers and not-so-new mothers had a beautiful day of appreciation.

        Tracey called to wish my mom a happy Mother's Day, but she was feeling sad herself, anticipating the death of her father figure, who was the father of her best friend when Tracey was growing up. The man is in hospice and going downhill by the day.

        Halloween was still not eating well, and I took her to the vet, but I'll have to take her again tomorrow. There were no doctors at the clinic today.

        Halloween spent the day at the vet and came home. I will check for costly test results tomorrow.

        The paving on our street was pulled up, and all cars had to be moved off the street for 12 hours. I handled that by driving to work. I brought Halloween with me to UC before the pet clinic opened, and then I drove back to pet clinic. Halloween was a bit confused by the long ride and detour.

        In other street news, we discovered that the owner of the abandoned house next door to us died on January 1. The daughter and presumed inheritor of the property has done nothing about fixing up or selling the house. We know that she doesn't want to live there again. We are hopeful that in the next year something positive will happen with that house. That house is the same one where I had the experience with the kittens, particularly the one who ended up euthanized due to my interference. The mother and all the kittens have disappeared permanently.

        Halloween is having kidney failure. I took her back to the vet for subcutaneous fluid treatments. She will be at the vet for a few days, and when she comes home, I will have to continue some subcutaneous fluid treatment. Poor little kitty!

        Margaret Gala sent a link with family photos from vacationing, including a trip to Legoland!

        I visited Halloween at the pet clinic. She seemed very subdued. She tolerated my attention more than welcomed it. I hope she is feeling better by tomorrow.

        Vickie Estes called with bad news. Her mother died May 13. (Oh no! Mother's Day!) Vickie's mom was 93, and she had had various health problems for many years. Vickie and her brother already had had a private ceremony and burial. According to the obituary, "the family asks that memorials please be made to The American Heart Association, 2936 Vernon Place, Cincinnati, OH 45219 or The American Cancer Society, 2808 Reading Rd., Cincinnati, OH 45206."

        Margaret Gala called to inquire about Halloween. She said that vacation with the family was so much fun that it was hard to get back into the groove of work. (By the way, Halloween is still in the hospital undergoing treatment. She was not doing well enough to come home.)

        K.F. and I talked about various things on the phone for over an hour.

        It is with great, great sadness that I announce that Halloween had to be euthanized this morning. I grieve for her deeply.
 
 

        Yesterday, Tracey spent the day with me to help ease my grief. We had lunch. We saw Shrek the Third. We went to the Cincinnati Observatory where we looked through various telescopes. I did not include this news yesterday, because Halloween's death is worth a day by itself. Frankly, I miss her so much that lots of other ordinary news fades far, far into the background. My heart is broken. My spirit is grounded. I do thank all the friends I sent the news to who responded with sympathy.
        The pictures I used above were taken in April. I did not know then that those would be the last pictures I would have of her. She was born in July of 1990. In a couple of months she would have been 17. Still, 16 is a good long life for a cat. I did the best I could for her for as long as I could. I thanked Kelley Zinkan-Puthoff for the gift of Halloween and all the love we shared for those 16 years.

        Another day of pain and tears, missing Halloween so terribly much.
        My workers bought me a plant and a card in a show of sympathy.

        More grief. This will continue for a while. An example of why I miss her: She always came to greet me when I got home from work. She used to do that when she heard or smelled me somewhere in the house. After she lost a lot of her hearing, she started waiting in the living room where she knew I would be coming in the door. She missed me during the day, and she welcomed me home. I miss that welcoming. I miss that love.
        I don't want to give the impression that this is a crippling trauma that I will never get over. It is an extremely significant loss, and I am treating it as such. Still, I am happy that I had her for all the time that I had her, knowing all the while that some day I would be without her--unless I went first, which might have been worse for Halloween. These are the times when you understand the poet who wrote, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." He may have been discussing a different kind of love, but the statement still applies.

        Daniela and Greg Thomas, (Mrs. and Doctor), sent a link to a Yahoo photos site with pictures from their wedding day. I have gotten through the first 59 of the 140 photos. The photos show an elegant and happy event. the sunniness wasn't just because the wedding was on the beach in Costa Rica. I'm including a photo below from the online group.
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        Shannon Rose sent e-mail to say that things went well at her ultrasound for her pregnancy.

        Ryan Tobergta visited the LRC. He is doing well. His new house is in good shape. He was on his way to donate blood at Hoxworth. He expressed sympathy about my cat, and said that the day before my cat was euthanized, he had to euthanize his (family) dog.

        Marcie Ehmann sent e-mail to ask how I was doing. I said that the grieving was still a struggle.

        My mother gave me photos she had of Halloween, including a couple where I was holding Halloween. On the one hand, it was good to have the photos, on the other they are a reminder of what's missing--of who is missing. Step by step I keep moving. "There has been joy. There will be joy again."

        End-of-the quarter and weekend-before-the-holiday panic set in for people who had not made arrangement before now. Next week will be even worse. I will try to enjoy my 3 days off.

        I heard from Tracey that the father figure guy had passed away on Wednesday. With this being a holiday weekend, the actual burial will take place next Tuesday. Tracey was touched that the person's death notice included her with the family.

        I bought a new garbage can for our house because racoons have begun chewing through the lids of the plastic locking containers which worked for a while. I wondered if the lack of cat waste changed the smell of the garbage to make it more appetizing. At any rate, I have a metal can with a thick bungee cord to keep the lid on.

        And I was making more of an adjustment to the absence of my dear Halloween. It has been a full week since her death, but she has been absent longer due to her hospital stay before dying.